Experience at Timmies (funny!)

My Timmies buddies: Carolyn and Sue

My dear friend Carolyn who traipses the world with a group of friends, some of them having known the others for decades, emailed me the story below which I felt should be shared with a larger audience. She writes: "This morning the CHFI Blog said Monday mornings are so depressing that the average person doesn't smile until 11:29. But we are mainly retired so Monday mornings shouldn't be worse than any other morning! At any rate this Timmies story is funny and I think worth a read. It made me laugh out loud several times. I guess although I don't drive a truck I could see myself!" 

 Little background before you read: Those of you who live in Canada, or have been talking or visiting us here over the years, would be familiar with my beloved "Timmies" or Tim Hortons - a favourite place to meet friends and share a coffee, soup, doughnut, cookie or some other items. Yes, yes, I know there are more chains and other names, but we like the Timmies coffee.

If you watch the show "How I met your mother", you would know that one of the main characters had an experience in a Timmies when he insulted the mild-mannered Canadians. My son showed me that clip, knowing I don't follow the show.

To me, Timmies is as much a part of our life here in Canada as the snow and the lakes. To those who don't know, here's the link if you need to know more! (And when you visit here, meet me at Timmies ....)

The story:

“$5.37!” That's what the kid behind the counter at Tim Horton's said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Lifesaver. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the worst thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68," he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet. A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my food and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat.. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say Ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my coffee, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?” At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Assistance benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanket.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth....... It's the only planet with seniors’ discount!!!!

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Lyme Disease update:

Ok, now for those who might actually visit this blog to follow my journey through the maze of Lyme Disease: Last week was a difficult one. Starting with the upheaval of stomach on Sunday, it must have taken more out of the old bod than I thought. Couldn't get rested, couldn't get warm, just felt totally without energy. Bleh. Such a drag to find the body is in control when I want to be!

Arno added me back on a pulse of some of the meds which made me sick before. He sorts out my pills and follows the instructions from the doctor. On Friday, he lamented, "I never wanted to be a doctor. Why do I have to be a doctor?" But I am forever grateful to him for being so caring, and taking the treatment so seriously. There's no way I would have done as well if he wasn't there to support and help. 

On Saturday, we went to the Toronto Boat Show, which is usually one of our fun things to do. We don't boat, we don't buy, but we just marvel at the size of the show, and the organization behind putting it all together, fitting everything in, carpeting the halls, hanging the banners - an amazing event! Usually I can walk through for a few hours, but on Saturday I had to tell dear, patient hubby several times that his old decrepit wife had to sit down and rest a while. Such a bummer! The spirit is willing but the flesh wants to si-i-i-i-i-t and re-e-e-e-e-e-st ..... It is embarrassing. Not having been able to sleep for two nights straight didn't help, haha! 

But it means I get to catch up on my reading, using a tablet which helps me remember my place. If you are a reader, you can look at the sidebar on the right, to Goodreads, which is how I keep my books straight. Neat to be able to log what you read, to go back later, to compare with friends or recommend something to someone else. 

• The best news is that I've started conversation with the city of Brampton about the Lyme Disease Awareness day in May. The date for the Brampton event so far is May 18 - the Saturday of the long weekend. Details will be made public as they are finalized.